Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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