She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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