she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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