I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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