Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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