White coat. Heels.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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