My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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