It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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