i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Congratulations! We have a period
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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