well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She said her name was "party"
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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