Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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