i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize