She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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