your parents love me but you hate me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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