I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Nah, weโre just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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