But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize