I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I pour the whiskey from now on
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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