My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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