There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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