This girl is more easily done than said...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize