I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize