So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it was like eating out sand paper
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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