we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
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Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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