whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
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I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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