my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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