Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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