I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize