Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize