Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize