if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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