Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize