new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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