She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize