the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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