Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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