I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Life is so much better after having sex.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize