Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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