I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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