I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize