No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize