I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize