So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
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the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
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I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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