i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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