booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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