I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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