so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize