guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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