I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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