matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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