i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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