in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize