Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
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worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
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You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize